Marcel the Shell With Shoes On

What is it about a talking shell with a baby voice? I can't figure it out, but it's cute. If you're not one of the 16 million people to have already viewed this - It is a sweet little way to start a chilly Saturday morning like today.

It was created by actress/comedian Jenny Slate and filmmaker/director Dean Fleischer-Camp.

Fun fact: Jenny Slate was the first actress to use the f-word on Saturday Night Live. I'm sure she doesn't want that to be her known legacy. Well, Marcelle has had more views. That should make her feel pretty effin good.



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Porketta: A How To Guide

I mentioned Porketta Bingo in my last post. It was pretty hilarious. I figure most of you were jealous of this adventure, so I created a picture guide of how you too can win yourselves some pork.

STEP 1: Gather some friends. Head to the classiest establishment that would hold meat raffles. In our case, the Esquire.

STEP 2: Purchase some cards and your drink of choice.

STEP 3: Concentrate and focus. You need to listen for your cards to come up. This may be difficult with Boomer on the mic. There will be shouting and plenty of obscenities.

STEP 4: Match all your cards and yell out "PORKETTA!!!" Then make your way to butcher's station (formerly the dance floor). That's where you will receive your fresh, hot pork. Who doesn't want that?

STEP 5: Get your fingers dirty and dig in.

Favourite of the Day: I FINALLY have my own parking spot at work!! Doesn't sound exciting to most. But trust me - downtown parking is a nightmare. I've been on waiting lists for years. Years. Now, finally, my soccer mom car has a place to call home. It is delightful. (albeit expensive but worth every penny).

It's Always Nonsense In My Mind

Getting out of bed in the morning is torture. I set two alarm clocks on either side of the room and they go off within three minutes of each other. When I press snooze, they continue to go off in different intervals for often 30 minutes or more. It is absurd that I think sleeping in these 4 or 5 minute windows actually does anything for me. Let's not talk logic to 6am me. It's a waste of time.

As I lie there envisioning myself starting the day and carefully calculating how many more precious minutes I can stay in bed, I bribe myself. "If you get up now you can eat breakfast or pack a lunch." My favourite bribe, however, is "If you shower now, you can blow dry your hair while watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". (hilarious show, if you didn't know.)

The show airs every day from 6:30-7:00am and I turn on the closed captioning and watch it while the blow dryer hums. Sometimes at 7:00am, Cheers comes on.

Where am I going with all of this? I had an epiphany. A non-life changing epiphany that means very little. But it is this: Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman are the best celebrity couple of all time. They have mastered staying out of the limelight while being completely awesome.

Carry on.

Favourite of the Day: I'm going to Porketta Bingo at the Esquire today. Bingo in a scuzzy bar for bowls of meat with some girlfriends? Tell me a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Spunky Monkey

I donated blood today. (yah. I'm awesome.) I don't know if this is legible, but question #13 is my favourite part. It says:

"Have you, in your past or present job, taken care of or handled monkeys or their body fluids?"

It is physically impossible for me to answer without a smirk on my face. I don't know who gets to answer 'yes' to this question but I wish I could be there when they do.

"I'm sorry sir. We cannot accept your blood today, due to your previous encounters with monkey semen."

Favourite of the Day: Well this. and Dry Shampoo. I love it.

What time was it when I lost my mind?

At some point I became obsessed with clocks. Yes, clocks. Don't read that wrong. This problem snuck up on me for reasons I still do not understand. Reasons I can not explain.

I am a little bit embarrassed about this and for awhile I didn't tell anyone. But whatever. It's time, not heroin.

I need to have a clock in every room of my house. I feel comforted knowing I have access to one at all times. If I am somewhere without one I actually feel panicky. What is up with that? Seriously, when did I go crazy?

Both my kitchen and bathroom are rooms where I don't want to put a clock up on the wall, so instead I have small battery operated clocks 'hidden' in the cupboard. That way if I need to know the time, I can just peak in and see it.

I once bought one of those clocks that project the time on your ceiling. To wake up in the middle of the night and be able to see the time without moving is bliss. I had to get rid of it because the digital display was too bright and lit up my room. This made me crazy. In a bad way.

I recently started a new job and I was pretty excited to get a clock for my new desk. So I bought one only to find one of the digits didn't light up. So I bought a battery operated one and put that one up too. For a short time, I had them both on my desk. I didn't realize this time problem of mine was obvious to anyone else until this guy walked by the other day and said "Well, you got rid of one, that's good. What's up with you and clocks? You know the time is on your computer screen right?".

Yes. I know.

Two weeks ago I went to Windsor for the weekend. The clock in our hotel room did not work. Are you kidding me? I had to sleep with my cell phone within arms reach so that if I woke up during the night, I would be able to know what time it was. Guess who is going to travel with their own clock from now on?

The irony of all this is that I'm generally late for everything. Everything. For someone crazy about time - you'd think I'd learn to manage it better.

*Note: The picture posted above was taken from Pinterest. I love this clock and I want it badly.


Favourite of the Day: Everything. Loving work. Good food. Good friends. Good music. Being organized. Relaxing. I love life today.

Office Life

"Hi, how are you?"
"Good, thanks, how are you?"
"Good"

How many times a day does this conversation happen in an office (in life) each day? Too many to count. I've been thinking about this for awhile now. It is friendly banter and it is polite. Nothing wrong with that. Every morning when you step off that elevator your real life is left behind and you enter your work life. The one where you smile and make small talk with everyone around you.*

When asked 'how are you?' 'Good' is the automated response. People rarely respond with how they truly feel. I think about what people might battle behind closed doors. Anxiety, depression, cancer, loss, divorce, physical abuse, mental abuse, miscarriages, infertility, affairs....just to toss out a few possibilities. Life deals out some pretty tough stuff.

I have been working in the same office for over 10 years, with a staff of roughly one hundred people. That's a lot of people. That's a lot of tough stuff.

So - Is it a bad thing that some may come to work and put on a smile to make it through the day? OR is it a good thing that work offers an environment to leave your other life behind and provides the opportunity to focus your attention elsewhere?

Perspective is a powerful tool.




*There are exceptions of course. Solid, deep friendships are formed between co-workers but in a general sense, most people are friendly acquaintances.

It sure is.

Perhaps the best commercial I have ever seen.

Not only is this kid amazing, but her parents as well. For raising her to believe in herself. She CAN do anything.

Love everything about this.

Gold, Frankincense and Jewellery

One of my nieces asked for a personalized name necklace for Christmas. So I bought her one. I did not research this. I went online, clicked on the first website and ordered it.

As time passed by and it did not arrive, I began to worry. I went back to the website only to discover the company is based in Israel.

Yep. I-s-r-a-e-l.

I worried it would not arrive in time, but thankfully it arrived yesterday.

Anyway, last night I realized something. Do you remember what else came from Israel? Ya - that's right. JC himself.

Some people turn to the Sears Wish Book for their gifting needs.

Not me.

I get mine straight from the manger.

(The Israeli postage)

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Happy Holidays my friends!

May you all have the opportunity to spend

time with those you love.

That is the greatest gift of all.

In the meadow we can build a snowman.....

I'm not sure what he loves more: snow in the winter or the hose in the summer?

Have you ever seen a dog so excited?

My pooch-nephew Oscar is the cutest.

Photos by Amy (his mom)

Fortune Cookies

The other day Heidi wrote about a fortune she has been keeping with her since she was 15. I read some really neat stories her friends shared about fortunes that affected their lives as well.

For many years, I have had two fortunes stuck on my fridge. Fortune cookies to me, are entertaining and not something I put much worth in. Usually. But these two messages brought meaning to my life years ago and I felt the need to hang on to them. I pass by them on a daily basis, never giving them much thought. Until now.

The timing of this resurfacing is uncanny. Not to get all Celestine Prophecy on you over here - but can this all be a coincidence? Did I read about other people's fortunes, then re-visit my own at a time when they couldn't be more applicable to things happening right now?

Yet again, things have come full circle and I love the feeling my innards feel. Like fairies are dancing in a cloud of sparkles. It all makes sense. Things DO happen for a reason.

Favourite of the Day: Learning. Growing. Cheesy but true.