Home Sweet Home

At what point in life does home no longer feel like home? When does your house become your home?

I started thinking about this on Christmas Eve. Ever since I moved out of my parents house I always go back to sleep there on Christmas Eve. My mom wants me to wake up with her there on Christmas morning. Part of me loves that - just like it always was when I was a kid. The other part of me thinks its silly. Because as soon as we wake up, we leave the house anyway. Last year for the first time I didn't go there - and I broke my mom's heart. So this year, I went back again.

I lived in the house my parents live in now for 14 years. I remember going to the lot when it was being built and watching it develop from a hole in the ground to the home I knew and loved. I remember my dad taking my sister and I to the flooring store and letting us pick any flooring in the store we wanted for our bedrooms. Looking back now, I would never let a kid do that. If they picked out something hideous (which I DID) I would steer them into a better choice. I realize now how cool it was for my dad to do that. Anyway, my room has been renovated since that day in the 80's, a few times actually. And again after I moved out, the renovations on my room began.

So, as I lie there on Christmas Eve in "my" bed, which isn't my bed anymore; In "my" room, which looks nothing like my room anymore - I was saddened to realize it no longer felt like home. It saddens me to even write this now. I guess you like to think that home will always be home. But it's not. And someday when my parents sell that house - I won't even have that. Even now when I am visiting my mom she treats me like a guest sometimes. Asking if she can get me something to drink - just being polite like that. That kills me inside. I want to yell at her and tell her I can get my own drink. But I don't - I know she's just trying to be nice. But it still hurts.

I guess on the flip side - I can appreciate that I have created my own home for myself. At one point where I live now was just my house but in time it turned into my home. I am not aware of when that transition took place. The notion that where I considered my home to be shifted from one address to another.

Being home this Christmas, I want to believe my parents house will always be what I consider home...even if its just never quite the same. As I lie here on my warm comfortable bed that I love so much I'm learning that home is more of a feeling than an address. Perhaps its the feeling of warmth, comfort and love. And you can't mail a letter to that.

Confessions of a Scrapbooker

I am a scrapbooker.  I have been for years.  I love doing it and I love the end result.  But tonight, I regret, I made an online photo book.  I feel like I need to whisper that.  So the scrapbooker in me doesn't hear.  

It's as though I am having an affair.  I fear when I get this photo book I'll love it.  

What have I done?

A Little Advice from Me to Me:

A Little Advice from Me to Me:

Dear Sara,

Guess what? Sometimes you take things for granted. Sometimes you sweat the small stuff. Sometimes you let little things bother you more than they should.

Give your head a shake.

When you're sitting at your desk, annoyed by something mundane remember the little things. Life's little miracles. Look over and see a beautiful bridge, being showered with white fluffy snowflakes as the sun sets on a river. From your desk you can turn and see this. Remember that. Remember that some people aren't blessed with the natural beauty of the world that you are. Many people don't have access to see and swim in lakes whenever they want. They can't sit in the sand or take walks along a rocky shore. You can. You live in a beautiful place and sometimes you forget that. It's the little things that turn out to be big things.

Life gave you that reminder today when you were at your desk and took these pictures. It happened when you took a second to forget about your list of "To Do's". When you forgot to look at the clock. Forgot to count down how much time you had before the clock struck five and you could race out of the room as though you'd turn into a pumpkin.

So think about that. Every so often. Okay?

Take Care, Comb your hair.

Sincerely,

Sara

Matchmaking; from a 4 year old

Single people, like myself, sometimes find themselves trying to be set up by others.  I don't think this is a bad thing.  It can be a good way to meet new people. And obviously the person introducing you thinks you have some similarities or compatibility.

   

But what does it say about you when your 4 year old niece is concerned for your future.  Should that get me worried?  Sometimes kids are smarter than we give them credit for.  Here is some superior problem solving skills from the mind of a child.  

While driving in the car one night, my niece started asking me questions.  The conversation went something like this: 

Avery: "Auntie - why do you live alone"

Me:       "What do you mean?" 

Avery: "Where is your husband?" 

Me:  "I don't have a husband" 

Avery:  "Why"  

Me:  "Because I haven't met the right person yet"

Avery:  "Why"   *oh, don't we love the infamous why's?*

Me:  "I don't know.  Maybe someday I'll meet someone and fall in love and then maybe he would be my husband." 

Avery: "Oh"  

This was followed by silence.  I knew she was processing what I'd just told her. A few minutes later she speaks up. Apparently she's solved my problem and found me a husband. 

Avery:  "You know what Auntie, you should come to my daycare at 5:00" 

Me:  "Why?" 

Avery: "Oh - because there are lots of husbands there."

Children are sweet.  You never know what is going to come out of their mouths. I think Kindergarten teachers should come together and write a book of quotes. It would be a best seller. Side note here - I just want to throw out there how annoying it is to me when people say "kind-y-garten" Like that is cute somehow.  The guy on our local radio station says that and it really grinds my gears.  I want to call him and tell him to stop.  But I don't want to come off as one of those petty, uptight people.  But deep down, maybe a part of me is petty and uptight. Well, maybe I'm only uptight when it comes to grammar.   

I really went off on a tangent there.  Back to my niece.  

This is the same kid who, the first day I picked her up from the above daycare announced this upon my arrival: 

"Hey Cathy - This is my aunt I was telling you about.  She always forgets to say 'excuse me' when she burps" 

And I'm left there standing awkwardly.  

Hi Cathy.  Nice to meet you.  

Today's Random Thought

Can someone explain training bra's to me?   What exactly are you training for?  And how does wearing one prepare you for anything?