Big Eyed Freaks

My niece Avery's birthday is coming up soon so I emailed my sister to see what she might like as a gift. This is her emailed response:

"She wants a big eyed freak from Zoo Zoo. She is no longer collecting Webkinz and has moved on to these. They are these Russ Stuffies with giant eyeballs. They are about $15.00. She was just there and saw them. She wants the elephant, the mouse, or she said there was a bear she liked there too.

Those are some ideas. She hasn't asked for much else. Other than them, the skateboard.

Later gater"

It seems I did not read this email in great detail. I was mainly focused on remembering "Elephant or Mouse". I decided to go to the mall and buy her birthday gift today. I walked into Zoo Zoo and wandered around looking for these toys. The owner came up to me and asked if I needed help. So, I asked him where the "Big Eyed Freaks" were. He said he didn't know. He had never heard of them. I said my niece had wanted one for her birthday. He thought maybe they were a new up and coming toy and offered to look into them for me.

I thanked him and wandered around the store a little more. I decided to call my sister to figure out where to buy these things.

Me: "Hey, where do they sell those Big Eyed Freaks?"
Her: "Zoo Zoo"
Me: "No, I'm at Zoo Zoo and they don't know what I'm talking about."
Her: "Please tell me you didn't just walk in there and ask for a Big Eyed Freak"
Me: "Um. Yes, I did."
Her: "hahahahahahahahhahhahaha"
Me: "................."
Her: "That's not what they're actually called. Avery just calls them that."

Then we were both cracking up. I had to go back and explain to the guy that there is no such thing as a Big Eyed Freak. Which may only be funny to me and my sister. But when Avery hears this, she is going to LOVE this story.

And she better like the damn elephant too.

Friday Night

Coke Machine Glow

by Gordon Downie

Here we are on the highway.

Here we are on the road.

Here we are in the parking lot's

pink Coke machine glow.

Here we are in the bedroom.

Here we are in the bed.

Here we are

beside each other

after everything

we've said.

YEAH Toast

I love the art of conversation. I love how I often find myself in very random, out of the blue discussions. Particularly when I'm talking with a bunch of women (or Brian), our conversation will take unexpected turns and go off on wild tangents. You just never know where a conversation will lead or what will come up.

I love that.

I know this generally happens to everyone, but I feel like perhaps I may be a more random person than most. Maybe not. Either way - I have interesting conversations, frequently.

The other night, in a somewhat 'normal' conversation about relationships (note that I use the term normal loosely) we suddenly started talking about bagels. Then toast. Which lead to a discussion on toasters. Which lead to us listening to this song on someones iPod. Which lead to me laughing my head off.

Favourite of the Day: This quote: "If you don't have time to love your life now - when will you?" I often spend my time worrying about the future. Plain silliness. Why worry about things I can't control, when I can listen to funny toast songs and laugh with friends? My life is good RIGHT NOW.

The tables have turned...

While I most often feel I am my mother's daughter, tonight I realized the tables are turning.

I remember as a kid, riding around in my dad's chevrolet pick-up truck while he listened to CBC radio and thinking it was the most boring thing in the world. I couldn't understand having a radio and NOT listening to music.

Well. Let me eat crow. Now I like CBC radio.

Oh, and I will pull over on the highway to nap in my car. And I keep a phone book in my car.

I am my father's daughter too.

Favourite of the Day: Great night out with some girlfriends. It's comforting to know they'll go out with me, even when I look like a bum. Quote of the night? From Jayme: "Um....Don't tell anyone I do your hair". Lots of laughs, as always. I love girlfriends.

Tomato Soup

Tomato Soup is a staple for me. It's my longstanding back-up plan and my comfort food. I always have some in my cupboard and I know it's always there for me on a day when I don't feel like cooking, or when I just want something simple and warm. I love my Tomato Soup.

How I feel about my soup is also how I feel about Oprah. Knowing we will soon embark on her final season is already making me sad. This is pathetic, I know. In 2006 she released her 20th Anniversary DVD set, which I am currently re-watching right now. It is all the highlights of the best moments on the show. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've cried over 25 times already, and I'm only on Disc 3. (pathetic count: 2)

If this is how I'm feeling now, I can only imagine how I'll be during her final show. In fact, when that day comes, I suggest everyone leave me alone - I don't think it's going to be pretty. Following that day, you'll probably be able to find me at the grocery store every day at 4pm.....buying more Tomato Soup.

P.S. NEVER GO TO the 2nd LOCATION. (only some people will get that)

Forever 12

"You drive a school bus?"

"No, no - I drive a STOOL bus"

HAHA. Toilet humour never gets old for me. I was driving down Base Line the other day and ended up following this truck. I giggled the whole way. Is that sticker necessary? Does everyone have to know the truck is full of poop? And then be cautious because of it? But then I realized - yes, it IS necessary. Truly, you ARE going to be a little more careful when driving near this truck. No one wants that poop to explode if there were an accident. Furthermore - if you DID crash into this truck - you would want a heads up before you ran over to help, no?

Thank you for the fair warning, Stool Bus. As you were.

Favourite of the Day: After a weekend dog-sitting Knox and Mimi, I was very happy to sleep in today.

When you've been bad, should I call you Thomas?

Dear Tom,

I wish we had more time to chat after our brief time together. As I'm sure you can understand, watching you drive backwards and smash my car rattled me a bit. I was nervous and did not think clearly. But if we are ever given the chance again, I would love to get to know you better. I'm confident this would be a good conversation. Perhaps I would develop an understanding of why you did what you did. Maybe I could get some of my questions answered. Questions such as these:

-Did your parents raise you to be a liar, or is this a skill you developed on your own?

-Did you think driving backwards down a busy street was a normal thing to do?

-Did you know that a rear-view mirror is used to see what is behind you?

-Even though you told the police you heard me honking my horn, you didn't think I was actually behind you? (I'm really confused by this one)

-Did you KNOW you would get away with this, or were you gambling with fate?

-Did you know right away that the $7200.00 in damages you did to my car looked exactly like I rear-ended you, or did you come up with this theory later?

-Did you know the insurance companies would say your silly stunt was 50% my fault?

-Do you feel guilty when you look in the mirror? You sleeping okay?

-If we cross paths again, will you be able to lie to my face?

So many questions Tom, so many questions. I realize you are only 19 years young. I was 19 once too. I have grown up a lot since then and clearly you've got a lot of growing up to do as well. I can promise you though, I would not have done what you did. My conscience would have eaten me alive. Maybe someday you will realize that owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions is what will make you a man. If you decide to have children I can only hope you decide to raise them with morals - better morals than you have at this point in your life. I hope you man up one of these days.

The saddest part is that this has left me jaded. You have made me question the value of honesty because in the end, your lies paid off. I don't like that Tom, not one bit.

In the end, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. You don't have much to work with, it seems. Maybe next time you decide to f&*K me, you can take me out to dinner first. Then we can have our chat.

Warmly,
Sara

Saturday's Smile

Meet Foxy the cat. If this doesn't make you smile, there might be something wrong with you.

Foxy belongs to my friend's Aaron and Kim. I think Aaron and Kim are awesome for many reasons - but this just upped the ante. Because really folks - they shaved their cat. When I first saw this picture I envisioned a battle scene taking place in a bathroom where Aaron took on a football stance, wrapped Foxy in a blindfolding towel while Kim donned the clippers and hoped for the best. However, they took the smart route and had a professional do it (which I would still like to see). I am sure most of you are wondering why one would shave a cat. It all comes down to love (cue the 'awwwww' from the audience). Foxy was Kim's cat and then she met Aaron who is allergic to her. Now they are getting married and Kim doesn't want Aaron to keel over. I'm pretty sure their future vows include "for better or for worse, in sicker and in health, hairy or shaved cat....for as long as we both shall live".

I talked to Aaron the other night about Foxy. I wanted to get more details on the scene. I asked how Foxy's demeanor changed after her transformation. I envisioned her feeling shy or naked. Possibly shimmying along the wall, paws covering her nether regions as she made her way to the litter box. It was quite the opposite I hear. Aaron advised she's loving her new self and walks with her head held high. Would it be too cliche if I said Foxy thinks she's the cats meow? Yes, yes - I think it would.



Favourite of the Day: I woke up in my old room. I used my old shower and I savoured the air conditioning. There's no place like home.

Just Breathe

The past few days of my life have been a whirlwind. Life is feeding me highs and lows all at once and it is going too fast to settle in my brain. In only five days I've gone to a great wedding reception with friends, spent a beautiful sunny day relaxing with girlfriends on my favourite lake, had the most amazing 12 hour sleep and went to the best concert I've ever been too. I've also heard great news from a friend that warmed my heart.

However, in these same five days I got in a car accident (minor - don't worry), missed a wedding ceremony, lost complete faith in our police system, fought with insurance agents, stalked a stranger in hopes of helping my case, been angry, frustrated, sad, disappointed and oh, hung over. I've also heard sad news from not one, but two friends that broke my heart.

FIVE DAYS. AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhh

The pictures below are from Saturday and where I need to be in my mind;

Laying in the sunshine beside a lake with the company of friends.

Simplicity. Perfection. Necessary.

McCarrolls Lake

Flashback

In case you forgot about this little gem:



“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.”

Oh, you poor girl, Miss Teen South Carolina, you poor girl. Though you redeemed yourself on The Today Show the following day, you'll sadly be known for this and this only. And it's jerks like me that keep it fresh.




Favourite of the Day: My roommate bought toilet paper. Blew my stinkin' mind.