A haiku

Soothe my neck. Straight spine.

Orthopedic pillow love.

Oh, you've changed my life.

No really, It has changed my life. Who would have thought a pillow had that much power. Well, let me be the first to tell you - it does. Yes, a pillow. I went 30 years of life missing out on this. I'm sleeping better than I ever have in my entire life. I felt the need to share. Do what you will with this life altering information.

Favourite of the Day: Getting to see friends who are near and dear to my heart. Cheers to Christmas for bringing people back to where they belong - in the same area code as me.

A goodbye message

There was a blog I wrote back in July. (You should go read it) It was about a day spent with my friend Brent. Tragically and unexpectedly, Brent passed away on Friday. Since hearing of this I have been overwhelmed with sadness and disbelief. I am writing this blog to say goodbye to my friend.

Brent,

In the wake of your passing I have been reminded again of so many things about you; Your devotion to your students, your quick wit, your love for family and friends and your passion for fun.

You had an infectious laughter that echoed throughout a room that I can still hear so clearly in my mind. Thank goodness for that.

Over the years I have enjoyed running into your dad at hockey games. He always proudly boasted to me your latest accomplishments and was eager to hear anything new going on in my life. I know I will continue to see him and I am happy about that. It will make me think of you and no doubt we will reminisce. I will try my hardest not to be sad but instead be happy to have shared in part of your life. I will remember many things and cherish memories. Here are some of my favourite:

• Our presentation in Grade 9 - a Pee Wee Herman skit, performed in french

• Nights at Natalie's camp


• Crocodile Mile parties at Barb's


• Going "Meating"


• When we snuck into someone else's wedding on a quest for a sombrero. (Success)


• "This is for you, Aileen" - which I won't explain because you would be embarrassed


• Sitting in our hotel room after Kiley's wedding eating pizza and chatting. In the morning you were angry I didn't wake you up to eat the pizza....forgetting that you ate most of it.


• Being your 'girl' date when needed and thankfully, it was eventually not needed

The last day we spent together was a good one - no, a great one. We parted ways with a hug and said "see you at Christmas". Next week is Christmas and I will see you again for the last time. I could not have imagined it would be at your funeral. I will say goodbye and I will be sad. But I will try to remember something silly, like how you would rub your belly when you ate too much and pretended you were having 'baby maxine'. And I will try to smile.

I will miss you but I won't forget.

You are forever in my heart.

Rest in peace, my friend.

A la Carrie Bradshaw

I had always watched with envy as characters on television ate Chinese food out of those fun little white take-out boxes. I never thought I would get to share in that experience. No restaurants around here have them.

But then...my friend Amber discovered that our favourite restaurant in Michigan has them!! She spoiled me last weekend with Thai take-out and we sat on her couch and had some girl talk. We were a scene right out of Sex and the City, complete with chopsticks.

Never give up on your dreams, people.

My Email to Rogers

Email I just sent to Rogers:

As my contract comes up for expiry I have begun to research new phones. I have come to realize you treat new customers much better than your loyal ones. So I ask you this; What is convincing me to stay with Rogers? As of now - nothing. You have a limited window to convince me to stay. Good luck.

Yours Truly,

Sara

Stay tuned for their response. I hope it's good.

Happy Birthday to me.

I did it. I turned 30 and all is well.

No tears. It was a good day. Great actually.

This picture is a bit funny because I'm blowing out candles on a

half eaten birthday cake.

I was looking back at old pictures from previous birthdays and I found these ones from my 28th birthday. I had rented the ice to have a skating party. For the first while we skated around. Then everyone wanted to play a friendly game of hockey. No one had helmets on and a red flag went up in my mind, but I still thought it would be fun to play. Before we began to play, I announced to everyone that we all needed to be careful and 'take it easy'.

Well, wouldn't you know it...two seconds after the game started, someone gets a puck in the eye. This was followed by a lot of blood and a trip to the hospital for some stitches.

Guess who shot the puck?

You guessed it.

Me. Of course.

Because that's my life.

Favourite of the Day:
So many things! Including:
-waking up to a special present
-reading this and feeling special. Thanks N.
-a surprise lunch with my family (and Amy)
-the best Happy Birthday song ever (piano by Erin, sung by Stu)

-finding a new bedspread that matches perfectly - finally

-many messages and calls from friends
-a surprise evening with some friends
-a cake, made and decorated by Brian

Teeter - Totter

It's my last night in life in my 20's.  Tomorrow I turn 30 and I feel like I am on a teeter-totter. I'm wavering between feeling good about the positive in my life and dwelling on the negative.  I usually try to be the 'glass half full' type girl, but some days I just want to be the 'it's my party and I'll cry if I want to' girl.  

I've been thinking about/dreading turning 30 for the past year.  But as I sit here on the eve of the fateful day, I know that logically it is just another day.  However it is hard not to reflect on the journey of life. Where you are ~ where you thought you'd be ~ where you'd like to be.  

Today I started to think about where I was 10 years ago and what changed in my life during my 20's.  At the age of 20 I was going to school at Lake Superior State University.  I thought I was on my way to becoming a teacher - and I was happy about that.   Then I turned 21.  That was a hard year - my hardest actually.  I was struck by a sudden onset of panic attacks and developed an anxiety disorder. I struggled with this more than anything else in my life.  I almost quit school.  I didn't, but I did give up on my dream of being a teacher.  Thankfully, my struggle with anxiety didn't last long.  I graduated that year and was lucky to find a full time job where I still work today.  

When I turned 22, I dreamed of living the life of Felicity - frankly, because I watch too much t.v. So I moved out of my parents house and got an apartment with my friend Lauren.  We lived together for a year.  What a crazy but fun year.  I grew up that year though.  Being on my own was a lesson.  

At 23 I decided paying a mortgage was better than paying rent.  So I bought a house. 

Turning 24 must not have been that exciting.  I can't remember anything awesome.  I bet something really cool happened though.  

When I was 25, I thought letting a stranger from China move into my house five minutes after I met him would be an awesome thing to do. So I did.  If you don't know about Roy, you can read that story here.  

The year I turned 26 my friend Dana moved in.  That was a year full of adventures.  None that I would say were good adventures - but they were adventures nonetheless.  It was a series of events that I would not have predicted happening in a million years.  But they did. We dealt with them together. We grew together and in the end, all was well.  Invaluable life lessons.

From that point on, until now, I have not had any major changes in my life.  But I continue to be me - always busy and enjoying the company of the fantastic people I have in my life.  Many of my friends have gotten married (and oh I love weddings!!), some have had children (that I've grown to love dearly), new people have entered my life and some have left too.  I have loved watching my nieces grow from infants into their own little people.  I've travelled.  I've laughed. And while there have been hard times or sad times, for the most part I've had fun.  

In writing this tonight, I've decided I'm teetering, not tottering.  I need not to think of what I don't have, but remember what I do. Life is good.  I have nothing to complain about.  I await what adventures my 30's will bring.  

Life is short.  Be silly and enjoy the ride. 

Favourite of the Day:  I had a good chat with Natasha and then my mom made a wicked, restaurant worthy dinner (pasta with grilled chicken, roasted red peppers and almonds covered in a white wine/cream sauce).

Moments

Over the course of my life I have played on many, many teams. Hockey, baseball, ringette, volleyball, basketball....I don't know what else. Through sports I have met many people and made countless friends - some of whom will grow old with me. I know this. Being on teams had always been and continues to be a blessing in my life. 

There is one team in particular that will always stand out in my mind as 'the one'.  Like Gretzky - it was the great one.  It was a hockey team I played on years ago.  There was something about this group of girls.  We had chemistry - we just clicked.  I was in University and was spending many weekends in the winter traveling all around Ontario with this team.  We had fun playing a game we loved.  Whether we were on road trips in the car, in our rented team vans or buses - we made so many memories. We didn't become 'the one' overnight either. Some of us played together for a few years.  Some players left, some new ones joined - but at some point we had formed the perfect group.  It was a time of my life I was very happy.  

We worked very hard that season and we had a really good team. One of the older player's once said to us after a game; "You know, I've played on other teams with a lot more talent, but I've never played on a team this good." We all laughed, but we knew it was because of our chemistry.  

At the end of that season we played our final game at the provincials in Brampton.  The one we had practiced and prepared so much for - and we won.  Champions.  We were the number one team in Ontario and it felt amazing. We lined up on the blue line in anticipation of them announcing our team so we could accept our trophy. I looked over at my good friend beside me. She was someone I had played with for years and someone who is NOT emotional - but she was crying.  Not an overjoyed happy cry either. It was a cry of sadness.  Surprised of course, I asked her what was wrong. She said "It's over.  I can feel it". I was caught off guard.  I had no idea what she meant.  Then she said "This is it for us.  It's the end of our team.  Were done and I'm sad." A few of us told her she was crazy - that we would all be back next year to do it again - like we always did.  But she said we were wrong and continued to cry. Which, of course, spread like wildfire and then everyone was crying - even our coaches. 

I will never forget that moment of my life. 

And it turned out - she was right.  That next year our team DID fall apart.  It blindsided me.  It changed everything.  Friendships were lost and people were hurt.  Directions of peoples lives changed that year.   

But here is what I don't get.  How did she know?  It was a time when everyone was celebrating a victory.  A time when everyone was happy with who we were and what we had done.  A time when we had no indication of the fall out to come.  I don't know how, but somehow she just knew.  

Sometimes you get a feeling in your gut. I've yet to encounter a time in my life where my gut was wrong.  

I guess she had a moment too.  

Pee Wee's Madhouse

When I was a young buck I eagerly awaited Saturday mornings. Every week at 10:30am sharp you would have found me sitting on a metal chair covered in red vinyl, placed on hideous green carpet directly in front of the TV in the basement. I would be waiting to find out the day's 'secret' word on Pee Wee's Playhouse. Whenever the word was said, I would "scream real loud" right alongside Paul Reuben. That was my absolute favourite show. I LOVED it. I would laugh and laugh and I loved all the characters on the show.

Skip ahead to today, as I laid on my couch sulking with strep throat, I stumbled upon "The Pee Wee Herman Show" playing on HBO. Why HBO is playing this, I have no idea. But watching the show again after 20 years made me question how this show landed on television in the first place. It is so messed up and twisted. It was clearly created in someones drug induced mind.

Isn't it funny how perspective changes in 20 years? It is comforting to know that the innocence of childhood prevents you from seeing the darker side of things. Part of me was slightly horrified today, but another part of me wanted to laugh really hard and if it didn't hurt - I would have.

Minus that whole masturb*ting in public stint, Paul Reuben, tapped into something successful (well, besides himself....hardy har har). I'm guessing it takes a lot for grown man to wear blush and prance around talking to puppets. I'm sure he took quite a bit of chirping from his buddies, but he would have been the one laughing all the way to the bank.

If you are like me and forgot how whacked out this show is, check out this little gem I found. It is "Cowness" (the cow) coaching "Cowboy Curtis" (played by Laurence Fishburne...what???) on how he should act on his date with Miss Yvonne. Pee Wee is pretending to be Miss Yvonne. It is really funny. Try to watch the whole thing.




Favourite of the Day: Um. This video.  My mom is supposed to be bringing me some Mr Freezies soon.  When that happens, it will be my favourite.  Until then...  Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho.  

Full Circle

I was driving by a cemetery about two weeks ago and I started to think about cremation. I got a little fixated on this and it consumed my thoughts for quite some time. I wasn't thinking about the spiritual aspect of it, but instead, the physical aspect. I was thinking about the people who do that for a living. Can you imagine if that was your job? I wondered if the job became routine for them and they eventually stopped thinking about what they were actually doing all day. I wondered if they were spiritual people or not. I wondered if they worked alone and had only the company of the departed all day long. Many thoughts were swirling around this brain of mine.

Then my life came full circle, as it often does.

Last week I had gone to watch some friends of mine play hockey. After the game we went up to the Sports bar for a drink. As we were sitting there, this man who knew one of my friends came to sit with us and chat.

Well, wouldn't you know it - he cremates people for a living.

I got really excited when I found out and I asked him a ton of questions. I think he was excited that I was excited and he didn't disappoint. He told me everything in detail. Whenever the conversation started to steer in a new direction I quickly jumped in to bring it back to focus. I'm sure my friends were thinking "okay Sara, let it go". And eventually I did.

I love that random coincidental stuff happens to me. Isn't that awesome? I LOVE MY LIFE.


Favourite of the Day: Yesterday in the car with Avery and Darienne, I cranked up "Love Story" by Taylor Swift and we all sung at the top of our lungs. We were so into it that when we arrived at our destination we just put the car in park and kept on singing.

I've been reading this blog and crying every single time I read it. It is a lesson in life to appreciate moments while you can. So I'm going to rock out with these kids every chance I get.

An Actual Conversation

It was my sister Amy's birthday today and we went to see a movie. We saw "The Box" starring Cameron Diaz and James Marsden. Here is the conversation that took place as we walked out of the theatre:

Me: "Hey Aim, remember that time our dog died on my birthday?"

Amy: "Ya"

Me: "Well, I think you just trumped me for the having WORST BIRTHDAY EVER"

Okay, so I'm being melodramatic. But the movie really was that bad. I can't even express the magnitude of it's crapness. Do not give that movie your time or money. Ever.

EVER.

(Also, she didn't really trump me. Because....C'mon.)