Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Plague

Last night I went grocery shopping at 12:30am. As I was walking by the fancy cheeses, this big fat spider ran in front of me. He was creepy and I was too chicken to kill him so I just ignored him.


A few minutes later, right near the pears, the little bugger showed up again. My mind started to wander. I was sure he was some type of exotic African spider who had arrived at the store hiding between bananas. I figured he was probably poisonous and was going to lay eggs all over everyone's produce. Yes, I know he couldn't lay eggs, he obviously left his wife napping in the bananas while he went for a midnight snack. I knew I had to do something.


The store was deserted so no one else would get him. I was grossed out by the thought of squishing him. So I put on my McGyver thinking cap and ran over to the olive cart. I took one of the clear plastic containers and ran back to trap him. For being a poisonous African spider, he certainly wasn't very fast. I trapped him with very little effort.


....and I left him there. I decided to just carry on grocery shopping and pretend that didn't happen. I figured a floor cleaner would find him and deal with the situation.


Later, as I was checking out, I watched a man walk in, see the container on the floor, stop and stare at it for minute then keep on walking. This made me laugh pretty hard. I decided to fess up to the cashier. I told the guy I trapped a spider in the produce section and they had to take care of it. I explained the situation. As I pushed my cart out I heard this conversation:


Guy Cashier: I'm just heading over to produce for a minute. I have to find a spider a customer trapped over there. I'll be back in a sec.
Girl Cashier: What?
Guy Cashier: You heard me.
Girl Cashier: Man. The things that happen here during night shift are so weird.



Weird my ass lady. I probably just saved you from the plague of the Crazy African Spiders.




This is the actual spider. I took this picture on my phone and

showed it to the cashier.

4 comments:

Nicole said...

thank you for taking care of our spider population. I am like you, hate the thought of killing them, not cause I am killing them, but because I don't want to hear or feel it squish. :)

Annalee said...

favorite part of this one is " I ran over to the olive cart"............lol

Kat said...

hahahaha. See? This is exactly what I meant in my fb msg to you. Not only did you make me laugh, but you did it with a spider story. Spiders...my biggest fear (and fascination).

I've never told anyone this, but I always do a little visual examination to bananas before I touch them and sometimes keep looking and even turn to get the all clear as I'm carefully putting them into my cart.

Way to think quick on your feet and I too thank you!

Sara M said...

Produce Spider story for you.. Banana Spiders are clear, like a skin, when I worked at Food Basics I was bit, and it is awful.. ALSO those grpes that come once a year, that the insides squirt out of.. the spiders that get shipped over with them, have hour glasses on the bottom.. yes, found one.. poisonous. Black Widow.. KEEP checking your produce! :S