Big is not Better

The other day I watched the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte marries Trey.

I love this episode. I hate this episode. I've been thinking about it ever since.

I love this episode because of Aidan and the "Love Knot". When he makes the bench for Charlotte and points out the knot in the wood may be seen to some as an imperfection, but in the eyes of the others makes it that much more beautiful. You love people despite their imperfections. In fact, you love people because of them.

I hate this episode because Carrie cheats on Aidan with Big. She comes clean to Aidan and breaks his heart. It's awful and sadly, realistic. Sometimes the right choice can be in front of you, offering you a lifetime of happiness. But lurking in the background is the choice you know is the bad choice. The wrong decision, but also the one that steers your heart. While your head knows what you should do, human nature leads you to follow your heart. What you should do is not always what you want to do. Life doesn't always make sense.

At the end of the episode Carrie is left on the sidewalk alone as Aidan walks away. Both of them shattered. She returns to her friends saying something along the lines that she wants someone to love her for who she truly is, despite the bad choices she makes. Then she realizes, she already has that - times three...in Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.

I think everyone needs that in their life. I hope everyone has that in their life. Someone to love you, no matter what. Friends that stand by you, but most of all don't judge you. It may be a friend that is honest and tells you what you don't want to hear, but ultimately loves you just the same.

Friendship like that is a blessing. Thinking of that episode made me think of the Miranda's, Charlotte's and Samantha's I have of my own. I know I have people in my life that won't judge me that I can completely 100% confide in. Finding that fit is not something to take for granted. It is like a diamond - hard to find and something to treasure.

I am a lucky girl.

Also, I love Aidan. I hate Big.


Favourite of the Day: Tonight I am having dinner with one of my Miranda/Charlotte/Samantha friends and I'm happy about that.

Siskel, Ebert and Sara

Today I am outlining what I consider to be the top ten movies that will always stick with me. To clarify, it does not necessarily mean I think they were the best. But instead, they are movies that had an effect on me. They were powerful. For some, they made me stop and say "whoa" while for others, I just think they are great movies.

Here we go:

(1) Silence of the Lambs – I listed this first because it’s predictable. Just an all-around good movie. Good storyline - great actors. No need to summarize anything here.

(2) Shawshank Redemption – This appears on every top movie list for a reason – it was awesome. Again, great writers, great actors. Even though this movie has a dark side (suicide, murder, prison, deceit) it is more so about friendship, hopes, dreams and determination. And who didn't fall in love with Brooks when they watched this? Sweet old men get me every time.

(3) Deliver Us From Evil - If you are into documentaries, this one blew my mind. It tells the true story of a pedophile Priest and the corruption within the Catholic church. While the church was aware of what he was doing to young children, for over 30 years they went to great lengths to cover it up. It is horrific and eye opening. The film will leave you with a heavy heart while shaking your head in disbelief. It's with pure disgust that I remind myself this is a true story.

(4) Life is Beautiful - (An italian film with subtitles) I love this movie SO SO much. The storyline begins in the Holocaust during WWII. To compensate for their hard life in the concentration camp, a father makes his young son believe they are participating in a game and the first prize is a ride on a tank. It summarizes so many of my own feelings towards life regarding perspective, optimism, hope and imagination. Roberto Benigni was OUTSTANDING in this movie and his Oscar acceptance speech made me completely fall in love with him.

(5) American Beauty - This movie makes you think, which I like. Also, Kevin Spacey is awesome. What I love about the story is summarized at the end when he says "...there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain."

(6) Kids - This movie is messed up and disturbing. It bothered me for days after seeing it. It follows young teenagers growing up in poverty in New York City. The scenes convey drugs, sex, violence, alcohol and disease (HIV)...and never lets you forget that it is KIDS living the lifestyle. It briefly took me out of my naive little bubble, where I had no idea that people, let alone KIDS, actually live like this. I will gladly stay in that bubble of mine but sometimes you need to be exposed to harsh reality to appreciate your own life. This movie is so disturbing that when I worked I Blockbuster, they didn't even carry it. The one plus? Chloe Sevigny is in it and I think she's awesome.

(7) American History X - Edward Norton doesn't seem like the most fun guy in the world - but you can't argue he's not talented. He's in a lot of good movies and he was nominated for 7 awards for this film . Someone summarized this movie like this; "United by hate, divided by truth. See reality in your eyes when hate makes you blind". Another dark film filled with racism and hate. What is wrong with me? Well, whatever - it was good.

(8) The Notebook - I wouldn't be a girl if I didn't have a true love story in my top ten. This movie is touching and just plain sweet; I loved every minute of it. I also really love flashback movies that come together at the end like this one does. There are days in my life I am cynical about love but then I watch movies like this and all hope is restored. It made me laugh and cry and my heart swelled with delight.

(9) Little Miss Sunshine - When this quirky family takes a road trip across the country to attend a beauty pageant, they take you along for a ride. It made me smile and the ending just cracked me up. Plus, Steve Carell? Awesome. Abigail Breslin? Awesome.

(10) Requiem For A Dream - a twisted movie about people with drug addiction spiraling out of control. Why do I like this movie? No idea. But I do.


Looking at this list there is an underlying theme to many of these. I am quite surprised at how many are dark and twisted. Apparently I like dark and twisted. Great.

Happy Birthday!!

It's my blog's birthday today!! One year.

In celebration, I made this cake:

Just kidding. I totally didn't make this cake. And as if I'd make a cake for a blog. But I would blog about a blog's birthday. And I did. I am. Right now. See?

(If I don't make anyone else laugh....at least I make myself laugh...)

P.S. To whomever made this cake - kudos. It's a nice cake.

A Bear Picnic

My co-worker and friend Jacqui is getting ready to sell her house soon. So, she's doing the usual cleaning and de-cluttering involved. Since she has lived in her house for over 18 years she has a lot of things to go through. Her soon-to-be husband called her at work today to tell her he went through the cupboards and found tons of food that was too old to keep. Instead of throwing it all away, he decided to put it all in a big box and hop on the four-wheeler to drive it out to the bush....for the bears.

All day today, Jacqui and I have been cracking up imagining this bear picnic. As time passes, this is getting funnier and funnier to us. How great is it to picture a bear eating Chef Boyardee and chugging back some OJ? I can't stop laughing.

We imagine that the bears are bored of eating blueberries and chipmunks...(or whatever bears eat) and are moping around muttering "oh bother" in an Eeyore-like voice. So imagine their surprise when they find this box of treasures!! That is the mother of all lotteries.

There will be high-fives all around the forest.

In a completely serious manner, Jacqui just said to me; "You know, I had a lot of old beans in that cupboard....those poor bears are going to be gassy".

At some point today life threw me a curve ball. Because this morning I was thinking about groceries and bills and now I'm thinking about bear farts.

Heads up to anyone who lives down the line. There's a pretty rockin' bush party going on tonight.....

Thankful

There is no real point to this blog, except to say this:

I am so happy to live in a city where traffic stops for funerals and emergency vehicles. I don't know if big city folks experience this (if you live in a big city...or any city really - please reply because I'd like to know).

One of my best friend's is a paramedic in Toronto and she has told me that driving an ambulance through Toronto traffic is awful and people do not give them the right of way. Horrible.

Yesterday was a busy Saturday afternoon and as I was driving through town I saw a funeral procession. I was so pleased to see everyone pull over and wait. It is nice to have that still moment where life just stops to pay respect to someone who has passed.

I live in a good place. And I like that.

Favourite(s) of the Day: Two things: (1) Winning 2nd place in my women's finals today!! (2) After spending the last two nights sleeping in a tent, I am quite happy to be in my warm, soft bed listening to a rainstorm and ready for dreamland. Goodnight.

Bumcials

I know I am biased in thinking my nieces are the funniest kids on the planet. They make me laugh all the time.  Here is yet another example of how they put a smile on my face:

We were eating dinner at my parents one night.  Usually when this takes place, there is a constant background noise of four girls running around, giggling and screaming.  On this particular day they were being unusually quiet.  After awhile, I was curious. I knew they were playing in my old bedroom so I went to find them.  They were no longer in there but I found this note on the bed: 

Later, as we sat down for dinner I said "So, ladies, I was wondering what a bumcial is?" Ryea, the oldest, turned red as the others began to giggle.   They explained they were running their own spa.  They were offering facials, pedicures, manicures and as noted above, bumcials and bellycials.  I asked what a bumcial was. They explained it was similar to a facial, where you'd get some nice cream and cucumbers put on your bum. 

The rest of the conversation went like this:

Auntie Sara:   "Hmm, well that sounds nice" 

Ryea: "Ya, except we didn't have any of that stuff" 

Auntie Sara: "What did you have" 

Jana: "well, we found this old chapstick" 

Auntie Sara: "Lovely.  Did anyone get a bumcial?" 

Jana: "DARIENNE!!!  She has chapstick on her butt!!" 

This was followed by erupted laughter....including my own.  

God, I love those kids. 

Myself and Darienne...the lucky recipient of the bumcial 

Favourite of the Day:  I slept for 13 hours last night!! It was much needed sleep and felt good.

This was a good day...

I haven't shared a Roy story in awhile. This one is short but sweet.

Opening Scene: I am sitting on the couch watching t.v. Roy emerges from his bedroom and starts to put on his shoes. It is probably around 8pm or so. Wondering where he could be going at this hour, my curiosity is peaked.

Sara: "So, where are you headed?"

Roy: "To catch a wolverine."

Sara: "WHAT?"

Roy: "Ya, I've been reading about them in my new book from the library. I found out what forests they live in too. I think I can catch one. "

Sara: (trying to be supportive and not sarcastic): 'Um, no. Bad idea."

Roy: "Really, I think I probably can"

Sara: "No, really - bad idea. You could try, but it might kill you in the process. Plus, what would actually do with it once you caught it?"

Closing scene: Roy takes off his shoes and goes back into his bedroom.



Favourite of the Day: Dancing with Damian to the "Wiggles". Even though the Wiggles are creepy, weird men, I enjoyed doing the "Twist" with him today.

Man's Best Friend

For 15 years I had a Golden Retriever named Amber.  She was the best dog anyone could ask for. Having to put her to sleep (on my birthday....geez) was one of the hardest things I've ever done and is still the reason I refuse to watch "Marley and Me".   It hurts to even think about that day. 

Years after she passed, when I was adjusting to living alone, I went to the Humane Society and found a companion in a sweet little orange cat I named Steve.  He was my buddy who followed me everywhere and loved to cuddle. I've met some jerk cats in my life and I was blessed to find an awesome one. Sadly, he got very sick and I had to put him down too.  I buried him on a cold rainy day in my parent's backyard. 

After taking a break from having pets for awhile I find myself longing for one again.  I want something to cuddle with at the end of a long day.  I know how great the companionship you can find in a pet can be.  But I also question my luck.  With Amber and Steve being as great as they were, could I be so lucky to find one to even compare? 

I am trying to convince myself that a pet is a bad idea for me right now.  I've come up with a list of 'Con's'.   I am not going to a do a 'Pro's' list because I already know what they are and I'm trying to keep that door closed at this point in time.  

So, here we go: 

• Picking up a dog's warm poop in a bag is gross 
• I don't have a fenced yard 
• Cat pee stinks. A lot. 
• Cats leave litter trails all over the floor
• There is currently no fur on my couch, my clothes or in my bed
• When I want to sleep in, I don't have to wake up to let a dog out
• Winters are cold and going outside when it's -25 sucks
• Vet bills are very expensive
• Cats with nails scratch furniture
• De-clawing a cat is cruel (but I'd still do it) and expensive
• I don't want to adjust my busy schedule to come home to let a dog out
• I work 10 hour shifts...a long time to leave a dog home alone
• Having to put animals down is awful 

If you have anything to add to my list, I welcome your negative feedback with open arms. 

To pee or not to pee

I just woke up from a 'pee dream'. You know when you have to pee in real life and your entire dream is focused around peeing? It's really frustrating and consumes your every move. In the dream I just had I was playing baseball at an old school and was debating if I had time to run down the road to pee at someone's house before I was up to bat. Everyone said I did. So off I went and I tried to hurry but no matter how fast I tried to go I couldn't speed up. When I finally got back, I missed my at bat and took an 'out' and everyone was mad. And I STILL had to pee. AUGH.

So, I finally woke up. On one hand, relieved and excited to finally pee. On the other hand, angry because I was frustrated and that's just not a great way to start the day. I know there are some people out there who dream they are peeing and then pee in real life. I'm happy I'm not one of them. But all in all, I really hate pee dreams.

Armando, my BFF

Tonight I had a random memory of something dumb I did years ago. In University one of my classes had assigned seating. It was 'Psychology 101'. I loved this. I wished more classes had assigned seating and I have no idea why. Anyway, day after day I would stare at the tall guy ahead me who was blocking my view. Instead of actually paying attention and learning like I should have been, I started thinking about this guy. I would make up stories in my head about his life. I would make time pass by entertaining myself with his ficticious story. I named him "Armando". He just looked like an Armando to me. We never once spoke and I doubt we even made eye contact.

After a few weeks of staring at the back of his head I noticed he never once wore the same coat two days in a row. Never. This fascinated me. During these cold winter months I wondered how one could possibly have so many winter coats and rotate them so randomly. Or was it random? Then I became obsessed. Was he an anal, OCD-ish guy who purposely rotated things on a schedule? Was everything in his life like that? I wanted to 'catch' him making a mistake. I started making little checks in the back of my notebook to see if there were a pattern to the coats he wore. This consumed my semester and I looked forward to his arrival every day.

He never made a mistake. Not even from a Friday over the weekend to the Monday - All semester. I think I got a 'C' in that class. In Psych of all things. I bet I would have gotten an 'A' if I didn't care what kind of coats people were wearing.

Honestly, who was the nutbar here? What did I think I would accomplish if he did make a mistake? Would I call him out on it, like I won somehow? Really. I'm an idiot.

I want that tuition money back.



Favourite of the Day: Last night I slept on the top bunk of a bunk bed. I haven't done that in at least 15 years and I felt like I was back at summer camp when I was a kid. The memory was completed when I heard my niece in the bunk below smoke her head off the ladder....twice.

But it IS a good deal...

Does anyone else still have strong urges to buy those "Teen Packs" they sell in Drug Stores this time of year?

just wondering