My co-worker and friend Jacqui is getting ready to sell her house soon. So, she's doing the usual cleaning and de-cluttering involved. Since she has lived in her house for over 18 years she has a lot of things to go through. Her soon-to-be husband called her at work today to tell her he went through the cupboards and found tons of food that was too old to keep. Instead of throwing it all away, he decided to put it all in a big box and hop on the four-wheeler to drive it out to the bush....for the bears.All day today, Jacqui and I have been cracking up imagining this bear picnic. As time passes, this is getting funnier and funnier to us. How great is it to picture a bear eating Chef Boyardee and chugging back some OJ? I can't stop laughing.
We imagine that the bears are bored of eating blueberries and chipmunks...(or whatever bears eat) and are moping around muttering "oh bother" in an Eeyore-like voice. So imagine their surprise when they find this box of treasures!! That is the mother of all lotteries.
There will be high-fives all around the forest.
In a completely serious manner, Jacqui just said to me; "You know, I had a lot of old beans in that cupboard....those poor bears are going to be gassy".
At some point today life threw me a curve ball. Because this morning I was thinking about groceries and bills and now I'm thinking about bear farts.
Heads up to anyone who lives down the line. There's a pretty rockin' bush party going on tonight.....
4 comments:
HAHAHA!
BEAR FARTS!!!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA
Bear picnics! Bears in party hats! Where's Mirella on this one? I figured she'd be all over this shit.
LOVE IT.
I have been so MIA lately and now I'm sitting here, regretting it horribly..
I spit at my computer screen with laughter when I read this blog... First of all, because I can absolutely picture you laughing about this at work (and also because I know the Jacqui you are referring to and that makes the conversation even more funny to me!) and going on and on and on and on...
Honestly, I think my favourite part about jokes like this is the fact that no matter how much you exhaust it, it doesn't get any less funny!!!!
Also, the picture of the bear at the picnic table? I died!!!
Last year my uncle told me that a bear broke into his cottage, (camp if you will) and helped himself to a pluthra of grocery items and a few select antiques, that however is a different story. Using stealth observation skills, Uncle Doug noticed a bag of openned flour topped with a thin layer of moisture. To the common folk, perhaps, no big deal, however given the current down pour of rain, detective Doug knew he only missed the furry theif by mear minutes. The bear hunt began and continued throughout the next few days, tracking trails of garbage, cleanning up wrappers, empty boxes and bags with no sign of the suspect. The point to this story is that the bear in question managed to take about 40 can goods and a case of coke without leaving a trace. It has been over a year over and still nothing. How is this possible and more importantly how do the bears carry their groceries?
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