My Fake, I mean Real Crushes III

Hard to believe I'm doing my third annual list of crushes. In the past I discussed my Fake Crushes - being that the people were fictitious characters. I'm going to switch it up a bit this year. I'm swaying from my usual television realm and entering the world of music (mostly). Acoustic music, apparently. I'm going with some real people here, generating my real hopes of someday sobbing at their deathbed, fingers intertwined, tears gingerly cascading down my cheeks, thanking them for a lifetime of memories. Yes I know some of these people are married. Dream big people. Or maybe just don't crap on mine. Here we go:


Damien Rice: Oh you, with your scruffy beard and Irish accent. I don't know who the Blower's Daughter is, or what a Blower even is. I don't care really. Just come to Canada. We'll eat maple syrup and build snowmen and throw snow at each other and laugh. Then we'll have hot chocolate in front of the fire place. (I don't actually have a fire place, but if you come here I'll get one).








Ben Harper: You know when you sing 'Forever' you melt every girl in the world, right? Did you know that? Also, I'm generally not a fan of covering large areas of your body with tattoos, but I have to say - you're an exception. Because you and that guitar of yours are pretty exceptional. I've heard through the grapevine that you've split from Laura Dern. I'm a good listener Ben, if you ever need to talk. Or kiss. Or cuddle. Or love me. Whatever you need.




Adam Sandler: A movie star? Yes. A comedian? Yes. My teen idol? Yes. But the Adam I write about today is the one who sings "I Want to Grow Old With You". Who wouldn't want someone to tell them they would make them smile when they are sad? Get them medicine when their tummy aches or put them to bed when they've had too much to drink? I'll even settle for someone to steal this song and sing it to me. But should it be possible, let's just set the record straight - Adam, I want to grow old with you.

Jack Johnson: Oh Jackie boy, don't tell the others but you are my favourite. I've seen you twice in concert, but third time's a charm right? Perhaps our chance meeting will soon be in the cards. Well, no. Honestly, that's a lie. At the last concert, you sang "My Little Girl" about your daughter and well, I don't want to be a home wrecker. You sang about that dang wife of yours too. I'll admit that I crush on you enough to let you be happy with the whole 'family' thing you've got going. Love your wife and your kids like you do, you sexy man. Sigh.

And last, but not least, Mr Daniel Tosh.

Who saw him amongst these guys right? He doesn't play guitar and sing in a sultry, sexy voice, I know. But he cracks me up. I love his facial expressions and comedic timing. His sexuality is up in the air. If you've watched Tosh.0, you know what I'm talking about. Gay or straight, Mr Tosh, I still want you in my life. You're clearly quite clever and obviously funny. My kind of guy. If it turns out you prefer the sausage to the taco, can we be roommates?

In looking at my last two crush lists, I noticed something pretty interesting. In 2009 I listed Ben Covington (Scott Speedman), then in 2010 I listed Billy Abbott (Billy Miller). BOTH of these actors came to town this year. What are the chances of that?? Coming here, to this dinky little town in the middle of now where. Coincidence? Perhaps. But lets all cross our fingers that someone from my 2011 list will be coming this way.

Favourite of the Day: I don't want to list anything as my favourite today. But that defeats the purpose of me finding the good. So I will..... Um. My laundry pile is diminishing. I'm happy and thankful I live in a town that gives me access to buy American gas. There. Not one, but two. Au revoir and bon soir.