Not My Proudest of Moments

You know how when you go to wedding/baby showers you sometimes fill out an envelope with your mailing address on it and then they use it to mail you a Thank You card?

When I pull that envelope out of my mail box there is a SPLIT second where my brain thinks "Wow - whoever wrote that has the exact same handwriting as me."

Then I feel incredibly thankful no one was witness to such stupidity. Kind of like when you dream you are falling and you jerk yourself awake and then hope no one saw it happen? That.

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Confession

I love my Kindle. I admit it. I love it.

When they first came out I scoffed at the thought. An electronic book? Ya right. I love books. I like how they feel. I like how they smell. I like the history and story that comes with an old novel. Used books or library books - who read them before me? Who loved this book before I did? I like passing by the books on my shelf and seeing the ones I love and remembering them with a smile.

The thought of laying outside in the sun reading something that requires batteries seemed ridiculous. Yet, even though I have one, the truth is I still think this. It IS ridiculous. Imagine not being able to finish reading something because you forgot to charge it the night before? I shake my head at the thought.

But when it came down to it - I chose convenience. It is small and slim and I can take it every where I go. The line-up at the grocery store is long? I whip out the kindle. It is just too easy. (Yes, you could do with this with real books, but I hate having tons of crap and weight in my purse, so I never would.) E-books are also much cheaper. And I've discovered "Kindle Shorts". Short stories that are usually $0.99. And the ultimate convenience? I never lose my page. Remember, I lose everything right?

I felt like a traitor wanting one but I came to the realization that choosing an electronic book didn't mean I had to give up real books. I could have both. I don't have to choose one over the other. I just have to choose the one that works best at the time.

Okay. Confession over. I feel better. Let's move on.

Favorite of the Day: Tonight I was witness to a kitten experience sight for the first time. I was there when he opened his eyes for the first time. Amazing. (More on the kittens coming soon).

Reading Rainbow

I haven't done one of these in awhile now. But I finally finished this book last night and I just loved it. I loved the character development, the story and the emotions it evoked.

The book is Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer. This was recently made into a movie, which I have not seen. I probably won't as I'm almost always disappointed in those damn things. (Side note: My Sisters Keeper is the absolute most horrific example of a movie ruining a great book)

The main character is Oskar Schell - a young boy who lost his father in 9/11 and is on a quest to find the meaning behind a hidden key found in his father's closet after his death. The book is based on this quest - but through it, reveals the history of his family and the tragedies they endured. Oskar is a quirky boy and one of my favourite characters from a book in a long, long time. I wish he was real. I wish I could view the world through his eyes.

Marcel the Shell With Shoes On

What is it about a talking shell with a baby voice? I can't figure it out, but it's cute. If you're not one of the 16 million people to have already viewed this - It is a sweet little way to start a chilly Saturday morning like today.

It was created by actress/comedian Jenny Slate and filmmaker/director Dean Fleischer-Camp.

Fun fact: Jenny Slate was the first actress to use the f-word on Saturday Night Live. I'm sure she doesn't want that to be her known legacy. Well, Marcel's video has had more views than that clip. That should make her feel pretty effin good.



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Porketta: A How To Guide

I mentioned Porketta Bingo in my last post. It was pretty hilarious. I figure most of you were jealous of this adventure, so I created a picture guide of how you too can win yourselves some pork.

STEP 1: Gather some friends. Head to the classiest establishment that would hold meat raffles. In our case, the Esquire.

STEP 2: Purchase some cards and your drink of choice.

STEP 3: Concentrate and focus. You need to listen for your cards to come up. This may be difficult with Boomer on the mic. There will be shouting and plenty of obscenities.

STEP 4: Match all your cards and yell out "PORKETTA!!!" Then make your way to butcher's station (formerly the dance floor). That's where you will receive your fresh, hot pork. Who doesn't want that?

STEP 5: Get your fingers dirty and dig in.

Favourite of the Day: I FINALLY have my own parking spot at work!! Doesn't sound exciting to most. But trust me - downtown parking is a nightmare. I've been on waiting lists for years. Years. Now, finally, my soccer mom car has a place to call home. It is delightful. (albeit expensive but worth every penny).

It's Always Nonsense In My Mind

Getting out of bed in the morning is torture. I set two alarm clocks on either side of the room and they go off within three minutes of each other. When I press snooze, they continue to go off in different intervals for often 30 minutes or more. It is absurd that I think sleeping in these 4 or 5 minute windows actually does anything for me. Let's not talk logic to 6am me. It's a waste of time.

As I lie there envisioning myself starting the day and carefully calculating how many more precious minutes I can stay in bed, I bribe myself. "If you get up now you can eat breakfast or pack a lunch." My favourite bribe, however, is "If you shower now, you can blow dry your hair while watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". (hilarious show, if you didn't know.)

The show airs every day from 6:30-7:00am and I turn on the closed captioning and watch it while the blow dryer hums. Sometimes at 7:00am, Cheers comes on.

Where am I going with all of this? I had an epiphany. A non-life changing epiphany that means very little. But it is this: Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman are the best celebrity couple of all time. They have mastered staying out of the limelight while being completely awesome.

Carry on.

Favourite of the Day: I'm going to Porketta Bingo at the Esquire today. Bingo in a scuzzy bar for bowls of meat with some girlfriends? Tell me a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Spunky Monkey

I donated blood today. (yah. I'm awesome.) I don't know if this is legible, but question #13 is my favourite part. It says:

"Have you, in your past or present job, taken care of or handled monkeys or their body fluids?"

It is physically impossible for me to answer without a smirk on my face. I don't know who gets to answer 'yes' to this question but I wish I could be there when they do.

"I'm sorry sir. We cannot accept your blood today, due to your previous encounters with monkey semen."

Favourite of the Day: Well this. and Dry Shampoo. I love it.

What time was it when I lost my mind?

At some point I became obsessed with clocks. Yes, clocks. Don't read that wrong. This problem snuck up on me for reasons I still do not understand. Reasons I can not explain.

I am a little bit embarrassed about this and for awhile I didn't tell anyone. But whatever. It's time, not heroin.

I need to have a clock in every room of my house. I feel comforted knowing I have access to one at all times. If I am somewhere without one I actually feel panicky. What is up with that? Seriously, when did I go crazy?

Both my kitchen and bathroom are rooms where I don't want to put a clock up on the wall, so instead I have small battery operated clocks 'hidden' in the cupboard. That way if I need to know the time, I can just peak in and see it.

I once bought one of those clocks that project the time on your ceiling. To wake up in the middle of the night and be able to see the time without moving is bliss. I had to get rid of it because the digital display was too bright and lit up my room. This made me crazy. In a bad way.

I recently started a new job and I was pretty excited to get a clock for my new desk. So I bought one only to find one of the digits didn't light up. So I bought a battery operated one and put that one up too. For a short time, I had them both on my desk. I didn't realize this time problem of mine was obvious to anyone else until this guy walked by the other day and said "Well, you got rid of one, that's good. What's up with you and clocks? You know the time is on your computer screen right?".

Yes. I know.

Two weeks ago I went to Windsor for the weekend. The clock in our hotel room did not work. Are you kidding me? I had to sleep with my cell phone within arms reach so that if I woke up during the night, I would be able to know what time it was. Guess who is going to travel with their own clock from now on?

The irony of all this is that I'm generally late for everything. Everything. For someone crazy about time - you'd think I'd learn to manage it better.

*Note: The picture posted above was taken from Pinterest. I love this clock and I want it badly.


Favourite of the Day: Everything. Loving work. Good food. Good friends. Good music. Being organized. Relaxing. I love life today.

Office Life

"Hi, how are you?"
"Good, thanks, how are you?"
"Good"

How many times a day does this conversation happen in an office (in life) each day? Too many to count. I've been thinking about this for awhile now. It is friendly banter and it is polite. Nothing wrong with that. Every morning when you step off that elevator your real life is left behind and you enter your work life. The one where you smile and make small talk with everyone around you.*

When asked 'how are you?' 'Good' is the automated response. People rarely respond with how they truly feel. I think about what people might battle behind closed doors. Anxiety, depression, cancer, loss, divorce, physical abuse, mental abuse, miscarriages, infertility, affairs....just to toss out a few possibilities. Life deals out some pretty tough stuff.

I have been working in the same office for over 10 years, with a staff of roughly one hundred people. That's a lot of people. That's a lot of tough stuff.

So - Is it a bad thing that some may come to work and put on a smile to make it through the day? OR is it a good thing that work offers an environment to leave your other life behind and provides the opportunity to focus your attention elsewhere?

Perspective is a powerful tool.




*There are exceptions of course. Solid, deep friendships are formed between co-workers but in a general sense, most people are friendly acquaintances.

It sure is.

Perhaps the best commercial I have ever seen.

Not only is this kid amazing, but her parents as well. For raising her to believe in herself. She CAN do anything.

Love everything about this.