Random Thought

Am I the only one who thinks massages are weird? 

Hello Stranger.  I don't know you but let me take off all my clothes and then you can rub me.  Then I'll pay you for it.

No thanks. Never say never but I'm pretty sure it's safe to say I will never get a massage.  Not anytime soon, that's for sure.

Something equally weird: Hot Tubs. 

Hey Friends. Want to have a giant bath together? We can soak in eachother's dirt and grossness.  Sounds fun! 

Not going to lie though - I love me some hot tubs.  

To summarize, while both are equally weird, one is disgusting and one is awesome. 

I never claimed to make sense.

They Do!

I went to a wedding two weeks ago.  It was a beautiful, might I say, perfect wedding.  The champagne, the hors d'oeuvres's, the meal, the decor, the music, the speeches, the dancing....everything was absolutely amazing.  The room was full of a love you could feel.  From the happy couple extending to all the guests.  I loved it.

The only thing not present at this wedding was a white dress. Some might use the word non-traditional or alternative to describe the wedding. But it was nothing of the sort. Love is a hard thing to find.  So regardless of where your jiggly parts are - when you find it - hold on tight and never let go. I couldn't be happier to live in a place that recognizes and acknowledges this.  

True north strong and free. Canada, you are a great place to call home.  

Congratulations and warm wishes to Jason and Jake!!

In the Event of a Tie

 

A few weeks ago I played in our annual local women's hockey tournament.  I've posted the tournament rules above. Note the highlighted area of the Tie-Breaking Procedures. I laughed so hard when I read that.  A dance off?  In hockey equipment?  On the ice? It would be the grandest finale of all time. 

Nothing would have made me happier than to participate in that.  However, my team lost every game of the tournament and even if there were a tie, it would never get to that point.  But a girl can dream, right? 

Kudos to the tournament organizers for being hilarious. 




Favourite of the Day:  My house is being painted today! I can't wait to get home to see the changes.  Also, dinner at Indo China Gardens last night means Indo China Gardens leftovers for lunch today.

Boobservations

I have worn this dress twice in my life.  

Note that both times I spilled my drink in the exact same spot. 

I don't know about you but I think that's pretty awesome. 

Stories From My Kitchen

Once upon a time (last night) I decided that I wanted to make pumpkin ravioli.  I found a recipe online.  It was called "Pumpkin Ravioli in Sage Butter". This is what it looked like in the picture: 

 I began my first journey in making homemade ravioli.  

(I did not make the pasta myself - I used won ton wrappers. Go ahead. Judge me.) 

This was not an enjoyable experience. It was tedious and frustrating.  I was sure it would be worthwhile in the end since I love pumpkin ravioli.  

I put them in the freezer with plans to cook them tonight. 

I came home from work and made the savoury butter and sage sauce then eagerly anticipated a delicious meal. 

Guess what?  It was a disaster.  

When they were boiling in the water they all split open and pumpkin mush oozed everywhere.  I carefully moved them to the frying pan in attempts to salvage what I could.  Then they all stuck to the pan. 

  

Here is the final result: 

Looks like barf in a bowl, right?  And did you know that sage tastes like a badger's butt hole? 

They're now in the garbage.   

Screw you pumpkin ravioli.  Screw you Sage. 

The End

Reach for the Stars!

I spent this past weekend contributing to the Michigan economy.  I found this Barbie in Kohl's.  This is too American for words.  I like the branding on the box - "Stands on Her Own.  Literally".  It literally says that.  Dream big, little girls.  You can wear stilettos, be the president AND stand on your own.  Congratulations Barbie.

I bet they found her in a binder.  

Muffins & Whores

Earlier tonight I was going through old boxes in my basement and I found something that made me shake my head and laugh.  I found these calendars I had saved from 1998 & 2000.  What a flashback.

When I was 15 I got a job at a little muffin shop in the mall.  I worked there for 5 years.  We had an all female staff and our boss was this little grumpy man named Art.  Every Christmas Art would order these weird slutty bathing suit calendars to give to certain customers.   They came in brown paper bags.  Seemingly, to conceal the fact that we were teenage girls giving out bathing suit calendars to weird men in the mall.

HOW FREAKING WEIRD IS THAT????

The more I think about this, the more my mind is blown.  Every year the same guys would come back and request them too.  Art even got our muffin logo stamped on them.   Imagine the corporate office got wind of this?  Geez.  I'm thankful I recognized that this was weird enough I needed to steal a few for keepsakes.

Rest in Peace, Art.  Thanks for the laugh tonight.

Favourite of the Day:  As I type this, I'm watching the episode of Family Guy where Brian the dog sleeps with Lauren Conrad.  It's awesome.  There is a part about Spender and Heidi that made me burst out laughing.  I love this show.

Crushes - 2012

It's time for my annual crush list.  Much to my dismay I did not meet anyone from my 2011 list like I previously thought I would. But that's okay. For 2012 I've got some good ones, obviously, since I have impeccable taste.  Here we go:

Jason Ritter: There is a sweetness about you.  You seem humbled and bashful, but also intelligent and heartfelt.  It's endearing. Your character on Parenthood has a mustache that makes you look like a dirt squirrel, but I realize you have to "act" and I know you'll want to clean up before you sweep me off my feet.  I'm ready.

P.S. Can I watch you shave?  That's so hot.  

Jeremy Sisto: It's very weird that I have a crush on you, considering I fell for you in "Six Feet Under" where your character is bat-shit crazy and you have an incestuous relationship with your sister.  I can't explain it.  But I do know there is something about your voice that drives me wild.  You seem like a man's man.  Messy and carefree, yet strong and in control.  I recently became your friend on twitter.  And by becoming your friend, I mean I follow you.  Twitter is a tricky little devil that makes me think I'm friends with famous people.  Were going to crack up at this at our wedding.  In your speech to me, you'll tell all our friends and family how you 'sealed the deal' by following me back.  They will all laugh while sipping the homemade wine my dad made.  My mom won't laugh though. She doesn't get twitter.  

Aaron Paul - The drug life isn't something I'm into.  But your character has drive and a good work ethic.  What girl doesn't look for that in a man? And what about your sense of loyalty and ability to remain calm in stressful situations?  While I realize that is just your character, I'm confident you possess those qualities in order to act them out so well.  You and those baby blues are peeking into a little window of my heart.  Climb in.   

Dax Sheppard - Oh Dax.  You are a silly and sweet man - just how I like 'em.   I know you're engaged to a really awesome, funny and beautiful girl.  But if she happens to get eaten by one of those sloths she loves, I'll console you.  But not right away.  I don't want to be your rebound.  I'll let you sow some wild oats and get it out of your system.  Then I'll casually cross paths with you.  My awesomeness will emanate off of me and it's a done deal.  I figure we'll spend summers here and I'll head your way during the winter. I'm picturing some waterfront property on St Joe's Island where we'll have huge deck parties.  And a seadoo.  Sound good? 

Zac Brown - You are a bushy-bearded man that I want to cuddle with.  It will probably be at a bonfire.  I'll be cold and you'll lend me your checkered plaid jacket.  Even though you're probably sick of singing because you're on tour all the time,  I bet you pound back a few Bud Light and you're ready to rock.  You don't have to sing your own songs all the time either.  When you're 'off the clock' you can rock out to some Journey or Johnny Cash.  Whatever you'd like.  You could sing Raffi for all I care - I can listen to your voice all day long.  Currently, I have your song "Highway 20 Ride" as my ring tone.  When we get together I'll change it, because well, that's just awkward. 

Note: If you didn't get the reference I made about the sloth, you need to watch this video.  It's really funny.


Favourite of the Day:  It is starting to feel like fall and I love it.  I love the weather, I love the wardrobe, I love the pumpkin-y flavoured things.  PLUS - craft night tomorrow and were making a fall wreath.  Perfect.  

Stinky Marshmallows.

A few summers back my family was out at camp having a bonfire.  I found the perfect little haven of coals in the fire and went to town creating the PERFECT marshmallow.  I slow-roasted it, spinning it continuously so the entire thing was golden brown and the centre was surely creamy.  I was proud of it.   Jana was standing near by and I wanted to show it to her.

"Jana! Come over here.  I have to show you something." I said.   Then Darienne piped in, to offer her cousin some advice.  "Don't go over there, Jana. It's a trick. She's just going to fart."

While perhaps I should be somewhat ashamed that I somehow trained her to think this, or saddened that when I actually wanted to be serious, she doubted me. But honestly, I'm a little proud.  Proud that she was thinking two steps ahead - and prepared for it.

I laughed when it happened. I'm laughing again now. Happy 10th birthday Darienne.  May you always be thinking two steps ahead.

Darienne, Auntie Sara, Jana. 

Being silly.  Because that's what we do. 

Favourite of the Day:  My sister and I just got back from a movie. (Lawless - good movie!) We brought our 'movie blankets' because it is always cold in the theatre. As we walked out, carrying our matching popcorn patterned blankets, my sister noticed this guy giving us an odd look.  I love it.  The guy was probably just jealous of our genius move. I hope that someday when we are 65 (well, she'll be 72) we'll still be loving the movies, still be carrying our blankets and still be getting looks.

Summer Lovin'

Well, I'm back.  I got away from this thing for quite awhile.  But I'm back. I miss it.  Sometimes I feel like I just don't have anything worthy to say.  But I've come to realize this blog has been a diary for me.  It keeps track of my life, my thoughts and if for no one else, it's good for me to come back too and helps me remember periods of my life.

The absence, in part, is due to my new love for summer.  This has been my first summer having nights free and every weekend off. Boy do I love it and I have not taken it for granted.  In my prior life as a shift worker, I too often found myself saying "I can't, I have to work".  It brought forth frequent feelings of shame and disappointment.  After ten years I finally feel like I'm free to choose my own schedule and what better time to capitalize then during the lovely days of sunshine.

I was busy this summer.  I took golf lessons (something I always wanted to do), I golfed, I played baseball,  I went to London, I went tubing in Indian River, I went on a boat cruise in Munising, I went to four weddings (and I love weddings!!), I went camping in Thessalon, I went swimming, I went to bonfires, I had hot tubs, I went for a boat ride on Basswood Lake, I cuddled with my friends' cute babies, I fostered more kittens and their momma's, I went to camp with my family, I went skinning dipping at 3am in Lake Huron (Happy Birthday Few!), I proudly watched my niece Ryea graduate from grade 8 and kick some valedictorian butt.

I am so thankful I was able to do all of these things, but more importantly - I did them all with so many good people.  I know really good people.  How great is that?

As I embark on the final days of summer, I'm hoping to sneak in one last swim in the lake at my favourite place (St Joe's Island).  Then I'll put away the sunscreen, the sandy flip-flops, the stinky ball cleats, the dirty golf clubs and the wet bathing suits.  We all know happens next.

Let's lace em' up!! It's hockey season!!




Favourite of the Day:  Good visit with Natalie last night ( & Gorgonzola Gnocchi! Hello).  Hitting balls at Strathclair and getting excited about Tarentorus ball tourny!

By the way, the photo at the top was taken the same day I made the chipmunk my friend (more like bribed him to be my friend).  Anyway, I laid on the dock for hours.  It was so quiet and peaceful.  When I had to pee, I would just roll off the side, pee in the lake and hop back up and continue reading.  It was awesome. And don't even pretend you don't pee in lakes. You do.