Teeter - Totter

It's my last night in life in my 20's.  Tomorrow I turn 30 and I feel like I am on a teeter-totter. I'm wavering between feeling good about the positive in my life and dwelling on the negative.  I usually try to be the 'glass half full' type girl, but some days I just want to be the 'it's my party and I'll cry if I want to' girl.  

I've been thinking about/dreading turning 30 for the past year.  But as I sit here on the eve of the fateful day, I know that logically it is just another day.  However it is hard not to reflect on the journey of life. Where you are ~ where you thought you'd be ~ where you'd like to be.  

Today I started to think about where I was 10 years ago and what changed in my life during my 20's.  At the age of 20 I was going to school at Lake Superior State University.  I thought I was on my way to becoming a teacher - and I was happy about that.   Then I turned 21.  That was a hard year - my hardest actually.  I was struck by a sudden onset of panic attacks and developed an anxiety disorder. I struggled with this more than anything else in my life.  I almost quit school.  I didn't, but I did give up on my dream of being a teacher.  Thankfully, my struggle with anxiety didn't last long.  I graduated that year and was lucky to find a full time job where I still work today.  

When I turned 22, I dreamed of living the life of Felicity - frankly, because I watch too much t.v. So I moved out of my parents house and got an apartment with my friend Lauren.  We lived together for a year.  What a crazy but fun year.  I grew up that year though.  Being on my own was a lesson.  

At 23 I decided paying a mortgage was better than paying rent.  So I bought a house. 

Turning 24 must not have been that exciting.  I can't remember anything awesome.  I bet something really cool happened though.  

When I was 25, I thought letting a stranger from China move into my house five minutes after I met him would be an awesome thing to do. So I did.  If you don't know about Roy, you can read that story here.  

The year I turned 26 my friend Dana moved in.  That was a year full of adventures.  None that I would say were good adventures - but they were adventures nonetheless.  It was a series of events that I would not have predicted happening in a million years.  But they did. We dealt with them together. We grew together and in the end, all was well.  Invaluable life lessons.

From that point on, until now, I have not had any major changes in my life.  But I continue to be me - always busy and enjoying the company of the fantastic people I have in my life.  Many of my friends have gotten married (and oh I love weddings!!), some have had children (that I've grown to love dearly), new people have entered my life and some have left too.  I have loved watching my nieces grow from infants into their own little people.  I've travelled.  I've laughed. And while there have been hard times or sad times, for the most part I've had fun.  

In writing this tonight, I've decided I'm teetering, not tottering.  I need not to think of what I don't have, but remember what I do. Life is good.  I have nothing to complain about.  I await what adventures my 30's will bring.  

Life is short.  Be silly and enjoy the ride. 

Favourite of the Day:  I had a good chat with Natasha and then my mom made a wicked, restaurant worthy dinner (pasta with grilled chicken, roasted red peppers and almonds covered in a white wine/cream sauce).